


Somewhere In Neverland

by LightLeadingMe



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Closeted, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, High School, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightLeadingMe/pseuds/LightLeadingMe
Summary: High school AU with the fab four.Will and Grace are dating because Will is still trying to deny that he's gay. Jack is gay, but hiding it from his mother, and pretending to be in a relationship with Karen. Karen hates her home life with Lois and her boyfriend, Bernie.





	1. Chapter 1

Jack frowned as he slowly roused from his sleep, feeling a light breeze wash over him and then hearing the click of a mechanism locking in place. He turned over in his full bed just in time to see Karen kicking off her sneakers before she lifted the covers and slid in beside him. He peered over at her for a few moments, his eyes still blurred with sleep until she came into focus and he realized she had dried tear stains on her cheeks. She folded her hands under her chin and stared up at him with a sigh.   
  
"I hate her."  
  
Jack sighed and reached over, brushing a long strand of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "What happened?"  
  
Karen rolled her eyes and sniffed, feeling her emotions starting to rise back to the surface. Jack was the only one of their friends that she let her guard down around, the others thinking she was emotionless and cold. "She and Bernie came home drunk again. I was doing my homework so I didn't have a chance to do the dishes yet. Bernie went off the wall about how I'm lazy and of course my mom took his side and she made me go to my room for the rest of the night and wouldn't let me finish my homework and I just... I hate her. I hate them."  
  
Jack studied her silently for a minute, seeing the unshed tears in her eyes reflecting off the moonlight. "Did he hurt you again?" Her silent stare was enough of an answer for him and he felt anger rise up inside him.   
  
"Its okay, Jackie-"  
  
"No, it's not," he demanded. "He has no right to hurt you or touch you at all!"  
  
"Hey," she whispered and reached her hand out, resting it on his cheek. "I'll be 18 in two months and then I'll be out of there, okay? No more Bernie and definitely no more Lois."   
  
He furrowed his brows, upset that his best friend had to deal with a shitty home life, but he was also glad she knew she could come to him. "How did you get out?"   
  
"Fire escape."

Jack slid his hand down to her hip, his fingers brushing the skin beneath the material of her large shirt and Karen held her breath as he tugged it up to just beneath her breasts. He guided her on to her back and reached over to turn on the bedside lamp as he sat astride her. His knees were positioned on either side of her hips and he searched her body for marks that may have formed at the hand of her mother's boyfriend. He found her alabaster skin clear except for one spot on her ribs that was a nasty purple in the shape of a line. His finger grazed the sensitive area and Karen flinched slightly. He looked down at her in question. 

"He shoved me into my room and I hit the bookshelf," she told him quietly, her eyes filled with turmoil.

Jack shook his head and leaned down, letting his warm lips touch the bruise in a soft kiss. He sat back on his heels and pulled her shirt back down. "Better?"

Karen grinned as she stared up at him. "Much better."

He nodded and resumed his position beside her, turning off the lamp as he went. They stared silently at each other for a few moments longer before Karen scooted forward and tucked her head under his chin, her arm wrapping around his waist. Jack pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her tight in his arms, both of them falling asleep fairly quickly. 

* * *

Judith McFarland just finished setting the table for breakfast when she glanced at the clock and realized she needed wake her son or else he was going to be late for school. She turned on her heel and strode down the hallway towards the bedrooms with an extra kick in her step. Once she reached his bedroom door she raised her hand up and knocked politely three times before she entered. Her mouth was open and ready to greet him to the new day, but she stopped short when she saw her son in bed with a girl. He had his arm protectively around her, her back pressed to his front, their hands laced together and resting on her breast, and they were sleeping peacefully. Judith knew Karen had a hard home life, but that didn't mean they could have sleepovers. It was entirely inappropriate.   
  
She leaned down and gently shook Jack's shoulder, waking him up. He slowly opened his eyes and first peered down lovingly at Karen who stayed asleep before he realized his mother was looking at him disapprovingly. He sat up, disentangling himself from Karen, careful not to wake her and he looked apologetically up at Judith. She didn't say anything to him, she only pointed behind her as sign for him to meet her in the kitchen. He sighed and climbed out of the bed, still mindful of Karen and thanking the fact that she was a heavy sleeper. He met his mom in the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Look, mom-"   
  
"I don't want any excuses, Jackie," she started in on him. "You know the rules of this house."   
  
He sighed. "I do know the rules, but she needs somewhere safe she can go."  
  
"I understand that, but next time she stays in the guest room. And you ask permission first."   
  
He nodded, a smile playing at his lips. "Thank you for understanding."   
  
Judith stepped over and kissed his cheek. "I gotta go to work, honey. Breakfast is all ready. Have a good day at school, okay?"   
  
He waved goodbye to her and when he heard the door close he walked back to his bedroom to find Karen still sleeping in his bed. He tried waking her several times, but they were all feeble attempts. Eventually he resorted to just picking her up as he would a small child. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs tight around his waist. He carried her to the kitchen and sat her down on one of the kitchen chairs.   
  
"Nooooo," she whined, laying her head on the table in protest, her hair falling in sheets around her face and shoulders.  
  
"Come on, Karebear. We need to eat fast or else we're going to be late for school."  
  
She sat up slowly, her shoulders slumped with a pout on her tired face. "I need to change. And I don't have my backpack."   
  
Around a mouthful of eggs, Jack agreed. "We'll run by your apartment on our way."   
  
"Jackieeee," she sighed and stood from the table, plopping herself down on his lap. "Can't we skip together? Go to the park? Go see a movie?"   
  
He shook his head, his arm secure around her waist so she didn't fall. "We can't, Kare. We both have a biology test today."   
  
"Please?" She pressed a kiss to his neck, trailing her lips up his jaw. "I'll let you French kiss me," she whispered in his ear, causing him to shiver.  
  
Jack considered it, but only for a moment before he shook his head and stood his ground. "No. We are going to school. Besides, I'm gay. I can't be swayed by your feminine wiles."   
  
She snorted in laughter and shook her head. "Yeah right. This coming from the boy who spent the better part of the summer dry humping me in the backseat of his car-"  
  
"I was confused!" he defended himself. "I needed to make sure that I wasn't enjoying it."  
  
"You weren't?" she feigned hurt, but she really was teasing him.   
  
"Well, yeah, I enjoyed it, but... Look will you just eat so we can leave?"   
  
She laughed and pecked his mouth quickly before moving back to her seat so they could finished breakfast. 

* * *

Grace stood by Will's locker, books held in her arms as she waited for him to finish gathering his notes for the test they were about to take. Her hair was a frizzy mess of red curls, her jean skirt short with lime green tights covering her legs. The tshirt on her torso was practically see-through, showing her red bralette, but never one with a keen eye for fashion, Grace thought she looked cool. Will wore dark jeans and a button down shirt, his brown hair long and swept to the side out of his eyes, perfectly styled. His clothes were more on the snug side for most boys his age, or any man for that matter, but Will loved the feeling of the soft, expensive fabric against his skin.  
  
"Where are they?" Grace asked, glancing at her wrist watch. "Class starts in five minutes."  
  
Will shrugged, going over his notes one more time. "Who knows. Maybe Karen found someone rich and skipped town."  
  
"Will," Grace warned. "Don't make jokes like that. You know she has it rough."  
  
He ignored her with a smirk. "And Jack could have met a guy on the way here and pretended to be in college and almost get himself kidnapped by a closeted politician."  
  
"Come on, that only happened once..." She jumped when she the heard the warning bell ringing and held a hand to her chest. "Well, I guess they're gonna be la-"  
  
"Hello lovers!" Jack exclaimed as he bounced out of nowhere. He donned a pair of khaki pants and a light blue collared shirt, his backpack slung over his shoulder. Karen strode up behind him, her long hair falling to her waist, an oversized Alice In Chains shirt on her shoulders, and ripped jeans covering her legs with a pair of converse completing the ensemble.   
  
"Oh Grace," Karen scrunched up her nose, giving the taller girl a once over. "What are you wearing, honey?"  
  
Grace gawked. "I could say the same to you!" she exclaimed as she gestured to Karen's outfit.  
  
Karen shook her head with a sympathetic sigh. "At least I have a style. It looks like three different outfits threw up on you."   
  
Grace pouted and looked to Will for reassurance. "You like what I'm wearing, don't you, sweetie?"  
  
Will frowned and opened his mouth to answer when the final bell rang. "Oh! Gotta go!" He ran off down the hall towards the classroom without answering her while Jack and Karen giggled. 

During lunch, the foursome sat together at a table in the busy cafeteria.   
  
"So where were you guys this morning?" Grace asked casually before biting into her egg salad sandwich.

"Oh, Karen had to-" Jack began to speak, but a swift kick to his shin from Karen under the table shut him up quickly. He grimaced and tried to discreetly rub his throbbing leg. "Uhh, traffic."

Will and Grace shared a look, but said nothing more on the subject. 

"So, what does everyone have planned for the weekend?" Will opened another topic. 

"Nothing on my plate," Karen shrugged, picking at her cafeteria food. She grimaced at the coloring of her meatloaf and decided to just eat her bread roll. "Like usual."

Around a mouthful of food, Grace spoke up. "I'm babysitting Joyce." She scrunched up her face and rolled her eyes at the mere thought, swallowing the lump of food in her mouth. "My mom has a play she's _starring in_ ," she used her fingers as quotation marks, "and she's forcing my dad to go so I'm stuck with the little brat."

Jack frowned, noticing Karen's lack of interest in her food, but also relayed his plans to the rest of the table. "Mother and I are going shopping on Saturday, but she's working the late shift at the hospital that night so I've got nothing else." He directed his attention to Karen. "You wanna come over and hang out?"

Karen smiled and pecked his mouth appreciatively. "I'd love to, Poodle."

"I'm free too," Will interjected. "I'd love to come over."

"Oh, me too!" Grace mumbled through another mouthful of her lunch. 

Will frowned. "You just said you have to babysit."

"On Friday night."

"We weren't talking about Friday night. We were talking about Saturday."

"You said weekend plans. That includes Friday!"

"It does not!"

Karen sighed and stood up from the table in annoyance. "You guys aren't invited anyway," she said with a huff. 

The pair looked up at her with a matching frowns. Will pointed to Jack as he spoke. "It's his house, he can invite who he wants."

"You're not invited," Jack deadpanned and then looked back at Karen who was fishing a pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go smoke under the bleachers." She smacked the pack against her palm repeatedly and then nodded her head in the direction she was intending on going. "Ya comin'?"

Jack stood from the table and threw his trash on the tray, picking Karen's tray up as well. "See you guys later," he said to the couple. He walked the short distance to the trashcan and threw their lunches away, setting the trays on top before coming back to Karen.

"Wha-" Grace pouted. "We're seriously not invited?" Will looked equally offended.

"Aren't you two a couple?" Karen raised her eyebrow pointedly at Will who blushed severely under her gaze. "Shouldn't you two be making out on a basement couch in each other's houses or having pregnancy scares?"

Grace seemed to perk up a bit at the thought of making out with her boyfriend and looked expectantly at Will beside her, nudging his arm with her elbow. "She's right, we could go to the drive-in."

"Ew, what is this, the fifties?" Jack spoke up, putting his hands on Karen's hips as she began to lead him away. "Heteros are so gross." 

* * *

Jack watched Karen light up a cigarette and take a long drag as they sat under the bleachers next to the football field. He studied her quietly, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and slight gauntness of her cheeks. Her normally bright green eyes were now a shade darker, a dullness covering the happiness that rarely lurked beneath. He wished he could take all of her troubles away. He harbored a mutual hatred for her mother, disgusted with the way she was treated by her and her boyfriend. How could they not see the angel that hid beneath all the sarcasm and harsh façade? How could they hurt the most amazing girl he had ever met? 

"I'm not going to talk about last night," she said dryly as she tapped her cigarette, watching the ashes fall to the concrete beneath her feet.

Of course she knew what he was thinking, she always did. Jack bit his lip and raised his arms above his head, holding tight to the support beam above him that held the bleachers up. "But you know you can talk to me," he said. "About anything. You know you can come to me whenever you need me, right?" He watched her roll her eyes and nod.

"Did I not crawl through your window at eleven pm last night?" she replied sarcastically before she took another drag. "I know I can come to you, honey." Her voice dropped a pitch lower, barely above a whisper. "You're the only one I can go to."

Jack let one of his hands drop from the beam and he reached his arm out, his fingers wiggling in her direction until Karen grabbed his hand with a smile. "I love you, Bear."

The faint sound of the school bell ringing in the distance signaled that lunch was over and they were to head to their last few classes of the day. Karen put out her cigarette and blew the last of the smoke out of her mouth, squeezing Jack's hand. "Walk me to class?"

"Of course," he grinned, tugging on her arm before they crawled out of the bleachers. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I do not understand your relationship."  
  
Jack and Karen glanced up and frowned at Will who was staring at them with a mix of disgust and interest on his face. "What?" they replied simultaneously. They looked at each other and giggled, wrapping their pinkies together. "Jinx!" Karen leaned in a pecked Jack's mouth and he pinched her side as she squealed in laughter.  
  
Will's grimace deepened. "See? That!" He gestured to their playful touching and small kisses. Karen was sitting on Jack's lap in the library, but they were avoiding their studies and playing around with each other while Will and Grace sat across them with their noses buried in their text books. "I thought you were just trying to hide your sexuality from your mom, not the whole school?"   
  
Jack shrugged. "I mean, I'm not hiding anything right now. We're just being silly."   
  
Karen nodded in agreement. "Believe me, he's ditched me for a boy before. Many times." She poked his stomach and he smiled, guilty.   
  
"Still it's weird," the other teen said, shaking his head before he went back to his work.   
  
Jack and Karen each rolled their eyes and continued teasing each other until the bell rang. The foursome stood up and gathered their bags, Will and Grace lacing their fingers together as they began their trek to their next class while Jack and Karen head in the opposite direction. "Where are they going?" Grace asked as she looked over her shoulder at the pair walking away.   
  
"Jack has a free period and Karen has AP Art History," Will shook his head, looking behind as well. "How Karen skips classes and still manages straight A's is beyond me." He scrunched up his nose when he saw Karen pinch Jack's ass and the boy stuck his rear end out further so she could do it again. "They really are weird."  
  
Grace smiled, still glancing at their friends. "I think they're cute."

* * *

Jack threw his backpack under the tree and plopped down in the shaded grass, leaning his back against the trunk of the large oak and spreading his legs wide so Karen could sit between. Karen tossed her bag next to his and sat down between his legs, resting her back against his chest. Jack reached down and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together and placing their connected hands on her stomach. Karen laid her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting the fall breeze wash over them. No matter how hard she tried to listen to the sound of the leaves brushing together and the birds singing, she couldn't help but hear Will's voice repeating in her head about her and Jack's unconventional relationship.   
  
"Jackie?" she asked quietly, biting her bottom lip.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Karen looked down at their intertwined fingers with a frown. "Do you think Will is right? Are we weird?"   
  
He snorted and the movement caused her to look at him. His eyes were still closed as he spoke, looking like he had not a care in the world. "Of course we are, silly."   
  
She raised her eyebrows. "Well is it bad?"  
  
Jack finally opened his eyes to catch her stare. "No, it's not bad. Why would you think that?"   
  
Karen shrugged, dropping her gaze to his chin. "I don't know. I mean even though you're gay and I'm straight-"   
  
"Straight?" he exclaimed, his expression incredulous. "I recall a summer two years ago where you made out with Claire Barnes at the state fair."  
  
"I was running the kissing booth! She paid to kiss me!"   
  
"I had to pry you two apart after two minutes!"   
  
"Anyway!" Karen continued on. "We have a different relationship, yes, but is it healthy?"   
  
Jack pouted in contemplation, staring off at the empty football field. "Well, here's how I see it," he began, locking his eyes back on her. "You're my best friend. We've been friends since 7th grade. You let me experiment with my sexuality and then supported me one hundred percent when I finally came out, you defend me when you think someone is putting me down, you're there for me whenever I need you, and you let me make out with you whenever I want. Is it weird? Yes. Does that matter? No because I love you and I don't care what other people think. I care what you think."  
  
Karen grinned and craned her neck to kiss his cheek. "I love you too," she whispered. "And you're right. Who cares what Wilma says. Or anyone else for that matter! We're happy, right?"  
  
"Right!"   
  
They shared another smile and a giggle and then relaxed back against the tree, enjoying the silence and the nature around them. Karen lived for these moments with Jack. She could forget about her home problems, the terrible memories of moving around so much, the lack of a father figure in her life since her dad passed when she was seven. Jack was stable, secure, and he loved her just the way she was. Karen wasn't sure if he knew how many times he saved her life, how many times he made her realize that she was worth it. And as she lay in his arms now, as he breathed with her and loved her, Karen finally understood what it felt like to love someone so wholly.   
  
"Awww, look, the fag and his hag."  
  
Jack and Karen looked up to see a fellow classmate, Danny Bingnam towering over them with a smirk on his lips and his girlfriend on his arm. Karen's eyebrows shot up when she recognized the girl as Claire Barnes and she looked pointedly at the blonde who blushed severely under her gaze.   
  
"Just leave us alone, Danny," Jack said tiredly, his arms tightening around Karen.   
  
The teen let out a laugh. "See, I would, but you're sitting under my tree, McFairyland."  
  
"D," Claire tugged on the football player's arm. "Let's just go find another spot."  
  
"No," he shook his head and continued to glare down at Jack and Karen. "This princess can get up and take his bitch with him like I asked."   
  
Jack would normally tolerate the name calling and slurs, but the second he called Karen a bitch he shot up off the ground. Karen tumbled a bit, but Claire caught her to which she smiled in appreciation. They stood off to the side to watch Jack get in Danny's face, the rage emanating off his body.   
  
"Take it back," Jack demanded.   
  
Danny raised his eyebrow and grinned. "What, I'm just speaking the truth? You're a little queer boy and your hag over there is a bitch."  
  
Jack shoved Danny back in anger and the football player lost his footing for a moment and then looked back at Jack as his own anger surfaced.   
  
"Jack, leave it alone. It's fine-" Karen tried, but neither boy was listening. She gasped when Danny was the one to push Jack this time and he lost balance, falling back on the grass. She felt Claire grab her hand and Karen squeezed the girl's hand back, watching the scene unfold in front of them and feeling helpless. Jack scrambled off the ground and went to grab at Danny, but the teen dodged him and threw a punch, hitting Jack in the eye.   
  
"Danny, stop!" Claire screamed.   
  
Jack recovered quickly and tackled Danny to the ground, the boys struggling for control as they rolled around.   
  
"Hey!"   
  
The girls spun around to see the gym teacher running out onto the field, a class behind him staring on in amusement as the two boys continued to fight. The teacher pried Jack and Danny apart, holding them both by the collar of their shirts and shoving them in opposite directions. "What the hell are you two doing?" he bellowed, looking between both teens and glancing at Karen and Claire as well.   
  
"Nothing, Coach," Danny shrugged, wiping a smear of blood off his bottom lip. "Claire and I were just walking by when Jack here started going off on me-"  
  
"He's lying!" Karen shrieked, pointing to the boy. "Tell him, Claire!" She looked pleading at the blonde girl who still held her hand.  
  
Claire looked between the four people in front of her and slowly slipped her hand out of Karen's, giving the brunette a look of contrite as she stepped beside Danny. She grimaced when she felt the boy's arm slide around her waist and set her eyes on the teacher. "Danny and I were just minding our own. The next thing I knew they were fighting."  
  
Karen felt tears of anger spring to her eyes at the girl's words. "No," she shook her head. "He was defending me-"  
  
"All right, that's enough," the teacher interrupted. "You shouldn't have even been out here in the first place. I want both of you to head straight to the principle's office. He can decide what your punishment will be. Go. Now."  
  
Jack glared back at Danny who smirked in return, but his gaze shifted when he felt Karen lace her fingers with his. "Its okay, Kare," Jack told her. He tugged her hand and together they walked towards the principle's office while Danny and Claire trekked behind. 

* * *

Karen paced the hallway outside the main office, her backpack hanging off one shoulder while she held Jack's tightly between her fingers. He had been in there for a long time and she was growing more nervous as time dragged on. She was pissed, hating the fact that Claire threw Jack under the bus instead of telling the truth. She appreciated Jack defending her, but it got way out of hand. The more she thought on the matter, the more upset she became. She was just about to collapse onto the waiting bench when the door opened and Jack stalked out slowly, a blue and red mark underneath his eye and his expression defeated.   
  
Karen rushed over to him, her eyes wide and her heart racing. "What's going on? What's happening? What did he say?"  
  
Despite all the events, Jack smiled at her concern and grabbed his backpack from her. "I'm suspended for two days," he explained. "My mom is gonna kill me."  
  
"What?" Karen exclaimed. "Two days? But he's the one who-"  
  
"He's suspended too, Kare," Jack told her, grabbing her hand. "No matter what the fight was about, we still fought and for that we are suspended."  
  
Karen pouted, wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him close. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest. She lifted her head, her chin resting against his sternum. "You got in trouble because you were defending me..."  
  
Jack slid his hands down to her lower back and pressed his lips to her ear. "I will defend you for the rest of your life, Karen. So don't go feeling bad for the choices I decide to make. I would fight Danny again and again for you. Got it?" Karen nodded against him and Jack kissed her temple before pulling back. "Let's go home, Bear."

* * *

The next day was Thursday and the first day Karen had to endure school without her best friend by her side. She basically pouted the entire day and was grumpy towards anyone who spoke to her. At lunch, Grace tried engaging her into a conversation she and Will were having, but Karen just rolled her eyes and pushed her tray of food away before standing up and heading to the bleachers outside so she could smoke. A certain blonde haired girl watched the teen leave the cafeteria and she excused herself from her cheerleader friends to follow.   
  
Karen had just lit up when she felt someone approach her from behind. She didn't bother turning around, figuring if it was a teacher that she would have already been getting yelled at by now. She didn't care either; she hated being at school unless Jack was there with her. He was the one that got her through most of the day.  
  
"Can I bum a smoke?"   
  
Karen's spine straightened at the familiar and she slowly turned to see Claire standing there, a wary look on her face. Licking her lips, the brunette crossed her arms, her cigarette held delicately between her fingers. "Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?" she sneered.   
  
Claire rolled her eyes and sighed, reaching into Karen's front pocket where her pack of cigarettes was poking out and grabbed one, her other hand swiftly pulling a personalized lighter out from her letterman's jacket so she could light. The shock on Karen's face was evident and Claire smirked. "You already know I'm a lesbian, I'm surprised my smoking habit is the one that makes you speechless."   
  
Karen realized her mouth was hanging open and she quickly clamped it shut, her eyes narrowing with a glare. "What do you want, Claire?"   
  
The blonde took a long drag and let it out slowly, her eyes scanning Karen before she spoke. "I wanted to apologize for the other day."   
  
Karen scoffed, shaking her head. "I just don't get it," she said. "Why didn't you tell the truth?"   
  
Claire looked down  at her shoes and swayed back and forth slightly, as if debating whether or not she was going to explain her actions and words from yesterday. Karen could feel the nerves radiating off of her and for a split second she felt sorry for the girl. "Like I said," the blonde began. "You're the only one who knows who I really am. Well, and Jack obviously. I'm just not ready to come out. To anyone. And if it got out that I'm..."  
  
"Queer?" Karen raised her eyebrow.   
  
Claire swallowed, nodding her head. "As soon as I graduate, I'm moving out of state and starting new. I'm going to live the way I'm supposed to, as a proud lesbian. But until then I have to put up some bullshit image for my family. And that bullshit image includes having a quarterback boyfriend and being on the cheerleading squad."  
  
"Look," Karen started, stepping towards the girl and placing a hand on her arm. "You don't have to explain anything about hiding in the closet to me. I'm 'dating' the biggest homo in the school, remember?" She offered a smile and Claire grinned in return. "But secret or no secret, you didn't tell the truth about what happened yesterday. Your so called 'boyfriend' is a homophobe and I'm surprised you even affiliate with him at all."   
  
"But I-"   
  
"I know, your image." Karen took one last drag and put out her cigarette. "But you still could have told the truth without revealing anything about yourself."   
  
Claire nodded slowly, looking ashamed as she took another drag. "You're right," she agreed. She looked up, her blue eyes shining. "Tell Jack I'm sorry?"

Karen smiled. "I will, honey." She moved to step away when Claire's hand on her arm stopped her. She barely had a chance to glance her way when she felt a pair of soft lips on her own. Karen gasped, her body frozen for a few moments, but Claire's persistent lips melted her quickly and she found herself kissing her back. She felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she opened her mouth and let her tongue brush the blonde's, tasting a mixture of tobacco and the tang of salad dressing from the cheerleader's lunch. Her touch was soft, sensual, and slow. Karen was completely infatuated.   
  
Claire pulled away almost unwillingly, her eyes opening and a grin tugging her lips. "Sorry," she whispered. "I've been wanting to do that since the kissing booth years ago."   
  
"Don't apologize," Karen smirked. "I hope one day we can do it again." 

* * *

After school, Karen walked to Jack's. She climbed her way up the terrace and maneuvered her way through the open window of his bedroom. As she started to slide through, her foot got caught on the windowsill and she lost balance, falling hard on her knee. A loud thump sounded from her body hitting the ground and she screamed out, "Motherfuck!"  
  
Jack came barreling into the room seconds later and saw his best friend on the floor, cradling her knee to her chest. He immediately got down and scooped her up, holding her bridal style in his arms. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked with a grin as he carried her to the kitchen. "You could have knocked on the front door?"   
  
"I always come in through the window," she pouted, her tone obvious. He set her down on a chair and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, putting it on her throbbing knee. "So Claire apologized today."  
  
Jack raised his eyebrow and sat across from her, grabbing her ankle and bringing her foot into his lap so her knee was elevated. "Oh?"   
  
Karen nodded, biting her lip. "And we kind of kissed?"   
  
Jack's jaw dropped, his eyes wide with surprise. "You what?!"   
  
"Believe me," Karen held her hands up in defense. "I just as shocked. But we were smoking under the bleachers-"  
  
"Claire smokes?"  
  
"So not the point of this, honey, but yes, the cheerleader smokes." She shook her head and continued on. "Anyway, she apologized to me and told me to tell you sorry and we were talking about how she's closeted and has to keep up an image for her family and then she kissed me and damn, honey..." She fanned her herself as she replayed the kiss over again in her head, knowing her cheeks were a deep shade of red.   
  
"So what does this mean?" he asked curiously. "Does she like, want to date you?"   
  
Karen shrugged, unsure of what it all meant herself. "I don't know, Poodle. I just know it was a hot kiss."  
  
"Show me!" Jack bounced in his seat, clapping his hands excitedly. Karen rolled her eyes and removed the ice from her knee before standing up and sauntering over to Jack. She straddled his hips, pressing herself as close him as she could, her groin brushing perfectly over his. Her palms cupped his jaw and just before her mouth touched his he started to giggle. "She was not sitting on your lap," he said.   
  
Karen glared down at him. "Do you want me to show you or not?" At his enthusiastic nod, Karen smiled and leaned down, capturing his lips in a slow, deep kiss. Jack's hands immediately went to her waist and then slid down to her backside, holding her impossibly closer while Karen moaned. His lips parted under her prying tongue and she slid inside, exploring the depths of his mouth. They pulled apart a minute or so later and Karen raised her eyebrow at Jack's dazed expression. "Good, right?"

"Wow," Jack said. "She's a great kisser." 

Karen nodded in agreement. She gazed into his eyes adoringly, but suddenly frowned when she saw the bruise that Claire's asshole of a boyfriend caused. She reached over and grabbed the ice pack she was using for her knee and rest it delicately on his face. Jack winced under her actions and Karen leaned in to kiss his forehead in an apology. "He really did a number on your face there, Poodle."

Sighing, Jack tilted his head back, resting it on the back of the chair and letting the ice cool his overheated cheek. "Yeah, I got a few good licks in myself, though."

"You scratched him like a girl."

"Did it or did it not hurt?"

Karen chuckled and took the pack off his face, setting it on the table before she laid her head down on his chest, her nose pressed to his neck. Jack's hands smoothed over her back and he hummed contentedly. "What time is your mom coming home from work?" she asked.

Jack peeked one eye open to check the time on the kitchen wall clock. "Not until seven or eight."

Karen raised her head up and pouted at him. "Can we take a nap?"

* * *

 

Later that evening, Jack and Karen were walking down the streets of New York, their fingers laced together and their arms swinging between them. After an hour long nap and two hours worth of homework, Karen decided she better head home before Judith arrived. Jack, not wanting his best friend to walk home alone at seven pm, left a note for his mom and together they began their trek towards Karen's apartment. The walk was filled with a comfortable silence, the sounds of the busy streets and restaurants they passed filling the air. Jack had bundled Karen up in his jean jacket when he noticed the fall breeze made her shiver and she grinned at him in thanks, giving him an appreciative peck on the mouth when he finished buttoning her up. 

He walked her all the way up to her floor and watched her dig through her jeans pockets until she came up with her key. She turned to him before she unlocked the door and puckered her lips for a goodbye kiss, but Jack shook his head, pointing to the door. "I'm walking you in, little lady."

Karen furrowed her brows and opened her mouth to protest when the door behind her swung open. Both teens jumped at the sudden movement and looked to see Bernie standing there with a look of disdain on his face. He sneered at Jack and then settled his eyes on Karen. "Your mother has been worried sick about you. Get in here and help her with dinner." With that he went back into the tiny apartment, leaving Jack and Karen in the hallway.

Karen rolled her eyes and looked up at her friend. "I'll come by again tomorrow after school."

"Karen," Jack ignored her, grabbing each of her hands in his and squeezing. "Call me if you need me, okay? I will meet you somewhere or come pick you up. I have my own phone line so my mom will have no idea. She even said if you need a place-"

"Jack," she interrupted, a warm smile on her face. "I know, honey."

"Kiki!" Lois yelled from somewhere inside.

"I gotta go, Poodle," she said, backing away, her hands slipping from his grasp. "I love you."

Jack watched her turn around and close the door, the lock sliding into place. "Love you too, Kare." 


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday finally arrived. Jack had just gotten off the phone with Will who was asking about advice on what he should wear for his date with Grace when he heard the familiar sound of Karen sneaking into his bedroom. He entered the room just as she turned back around to close the window and smiled. "Should I get a lock for that thing?" he asked.

She jumped, startled by his voice and whipped around with a glare. "If you do I'll hurt you."

Jack reached his hand out and Karen quickly rushed over, letting her hand slide into his. "Mom left some food on the stove before she went to work," he told her, leading her into the kitchen. "You should eat."

Karen pouted, staring down at the tuna casserole on the stove, her nose scrunching up at the smell. "Uhh, no thanks, Poodle. I ate a big lunch."

"Karen," Jack began to say, but Karen stopped him with a hand on his chest and a bright smile.

"I'm fine, Jackie. I promise. How about some popcorn?"

Not wanting to give in, but knowing he would anyway, Jack nodded and kissed her forehead before he turned and rummaged through the cabinets for a bag of popcorn. Karen went into the living room and plopped down on the couch, grabbing the TV remote off the coffee table. She flipped the television on and started to channel surf, not finding anything really interesting grab her attention.

"So what do you want to do tonight, Bear?"  
  
Karen shrugged, a pout on her lips as she stared blankly at the television. The light from the TV illuminated the room, a soft blue dancing off the walls. "Nothing really. We can just watch whatever is on."  
  
Jack glanced over at her as he set a bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table in front of the couch. A blush rose on his cheeks when he remembered the item in his backpack that he got earlier in the afternoon before she came over. He silently debated with himself for a moment, wondering if he should mention it before finally deciding to speak up. "Or..." he said slyly, shifting nervously on his feet. Karen looked up at him curiously, her lips pursed. "Or we could watch the cheesy porn I got at the video store."  
  
Karen's eyebrows shot up into her hairline and she scoffed in surprise. "The what?"  
  
Jack quickly dashed for his backpack in the kitchen and snatched it off the chair. He dug around his books until he found the rectangular VHS and pulled it out before dropping the bag back down on the flower embroidered seat cushion. He sheepishly walked back to Karen, the tape held in front of him as if it was on display. "This afternoon I rented the one and only movie titled, 'A Few Hard Men'."  
  
Karen tossed her head back and let out a raucous laugh. "Are you serious?!" she exclaimed. She snatched the tape from him and looked over the cover, the image of three buff men wearing nothing but speedos and striking masculine poses making her snort in laughter again. "Well what are you waiting for, honey? Put it in!"  
  
Jack grinned and hopped over to the VHS player, popping the cassette in and grabbing the remote on his way back to the couch. He settled onto the soft cushions beside Karen who immediately snuggled into his side and hit 'play'. As the porn dragged on with an obnoxiously cheesy opening, the two teens laughed hysterically at how terrible it was. About ten minutes in, two men began to makeout and Jack and Karen immediately became quiet, finding the sight on the television quite erotic. Around the thirty minute mark, all three men were giving each other hand jobs, blow jobs, rim jobs, the works.  
  
Karen looked over at him when he began to shift and immediately her eyes were drawn to his crotch, seeing a bulge beginning to form in his jeans. She glanced back up at his face and saw his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, his eyes glued to the screen. She felt the heat rush over her body as her mind became more curious about what it would be like to touch him and how he would react if she did.  
  
Feeling her eyes on him, Jack turned his head and saw her staring blatantly at his obvious erection. Instead of feeling embarrassed, he was almost inquisitive about what she was thinking and he cleared his throat softly. Karen's eyes snapped to his and she stared him down. Her hand was already so dangerously close from where it rested on his thigh, only a few inches away from the zipper.  
  
She slowly slid her hand up his leg even higher and then lifted it so it hovered over his crotch. "Can I..."  
  
Jack nodded, mesmerized by the movements of her hand and the innocence behind her eyes. He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding in when she placed her hand on his dick through his jeans and squeezed tentatively. They simultaneously gasped and she paused, staring up at him as he stared down at her hand. She had felt his erection countless times before over the summer, but only against her leg or digging into her hip. They experimented with his sexuality before he finally came to the decision that he was definitely gay when a man that frequented the coffee shop he worked at winked at him and Jack's body had an immediate reaction that was almost embarrassing. 

So now, as they sat alone on his couch on a Saturday night with a gay porn blaring in the background and her hand on his throbbing erection, Jack began to question what exactly they were doing. "Kare," he breathed out. "I'm not sure if-"  
  
"Jackie," she interrupted as their eyes met. "I want to."  
  
He closed his mouth and saw the sincerity in her eyes. His body was begging for release and she was more than willing to give it to him. With a slight nod he gave her silent permission and Karen began to massage him through his jeans. He stretched his legs out and bit his lip to hide a whimper. She became bold and unzipped his pants slowly and then she slid her hand inside, grabbing him through his boxers and running her palm up and down. Jack sighed, watching her every move, wishing she would take him out and touch him with no barriers, but he didn't want to rush her or make her uncomfortable. Almost as if she was reading his mind, Karen trailed her fingers up to the waistband of his boxers and tugged it down past his dick until it sprang free, hard and proud.  
  
She gasped and stared at him, her eyes wide and her cheeks red as a rush of arousal coursed through her body, settling between her legs. She wrapped her fingers around him and began to pump her hand up and down his shaft, appreciating the sound of Jack's moans that he was no longer holding back. Her mouth began to water and she suddenly felt the desire to taste him. Acting on impulse, she leaned over and opened her mouth.  
  
"What are you- Oh God!" Jack's question was cut off by Karen's tongue lapping at the head of his cock. "Karen..."  
  
She smiled and wrapped her lips around him, letting her tongue flatten against his shaft and she moved down until he tapped the back of her throat. She suppressed the urge to gag and lifted back up again, her hand holding the base of his cock where her mouth couldn't reach. Remembering how the men in the movie performed, she started to pump her hand in time with her mouth going down and back up again, adding suction and flicking her tongue against the sensitive tip in every pass.  
  
Jack couldn't tear his eyes away from her, watching his dick moving in and out of her mouth mixed with the sensation of it all causing his legs to quiver and his breathing to deepen. He felt a familiar tingle and he knew he was right at the edge. He grunted and gasped loudly. "Karen, I'm gonna cum."  
  
Karen pulled back, the suction causing a loud pop to echo in the room, and pumped her hand even faster until he came. Jack's hips jerked and he groaned loudly as he spurted continuously, his cum shooting out onto his jeans and Karen's hand. She watched in fascination and gripped him tightly at the base, squeezing all the way up to the sensitive head to gather the last of his cum that was leaking out. Finally removing her hand, Karen grinned at him confidently while Jack struggled to catch his breath. He noticed her hands and blushed profusely. "Here, let me get you a tissue or-"  
  
Karen ignored him, eyeing the substance on her hand curiously. She stuck her tongue out and flicked it against the back of her hand, gathering his essence to taste. She made bewildered face, but ultimately shrugged and continued to lap at her hand until it was clean. She looked up at him when she was done and saw astonishment covering his features. Smiling she stretched her neck up and pecked his mouth. "How was it?" she asked curiously.  
  
Jack let out a huff of laughter and shook his head. "Really? Did you not see how hard I came?" She grinned triumphantly with giddiness, bouncing a bit in her seat. Jack giggled with her and fixed his pants so he was covered up again. He winced when he noticed the white streaks and decided he needed to change. "I'll be right back."  
  
Karen watched him stand up and pouted briefly before standing as well. "Wait, I'll come with you."  
  
Jack looked at her over his shoulder but said nothing as they walked down the hallway towards his room. She sat on the bed and leaned back on her hands while Jack rifled through his drawers for a pair of sweatpants. He took off his shirt and pulled down his jeans leaving him in only his boxers and wife beater. Karen bit her lip, her eyes admiring his toned body. She crossed one leg over the other and clenched, trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs. Jack smirked at her as he pulled his pants up to rest on his hips. "You okay?"  
  
"Honestly?" she raised her eyebrow and licked her lips. "I could use a hand."  
  
Jack stepped over and placed both hands on the mattress on either side of her body, hovering above her with a gleam in his eyes. "Well you're in luck," he said softly. "I have two." He captured her lips and she whimpered into him, falling slowly back on the mattress and uncrossing her legs so he could settled between them. As their tongues met, Jack placed one hand on her lower back and lifted her up, guiding her to the middle of the bed. Once she was settled back he moved his hand around to her stomach and down to the button on her jeans. He skillfully pushed the button through the hole with one hand and unzipped her pants. Karen pulled her mouth from his and raised her hips up so Jack could slide the jeans down her legs and off her body. He scoot himself to lay beside her and let his hand disappear beneath the waistband of her pink undies. He found her dripping wet and heard her gasp when his fingers brushed her clit. Karen began to undulate her hips into his hand and Jack started to massage her clit while she moaned.  
  
He leaned his head down and kissed her again, but Karen had to pull away when she gasped. Jack hooked his thumb in one side of her panties and Karen grabbed the other so they could push the flimsy material down to join her pants on the floor. He returned to his position beside her and Karen rest her head on his shoulder as Jack brought his hand back between her legs. He started to massage her again and then let his middle finger dip down to find her entrance. He pushed the digit into her slowly, feeling her tense in his arms. He pressed his lips to her forehead and pushed it in further, keeping it there for a moment so she could get used to the feeling. Karen's breathing was labored and she was biting her bottom lip, letting her body relax to the new feeling. She looked up at him and caught his gaze, giving him a nod to start moving. Jack moved his hand and let his finger slide out slowly and then he pushed it back in gently. Karen gasped and tilted her hips, one hand grasping the sheets and the other gripping his wife beater, bunching the material between her fingers. Jack continued to finger her, watching the pleasure begin to mask the discomfort. He felt her relaxing with each push in and out so he picked up the pace a bit and curled his finger up, going deeper inside as Karen moaned loudly.  
  
"Oh my God, ugh, oh shit!" Her hand that was gripping the sheets flew down between her legs and she rapidly flicked at her clit, crying out when she came.  
  
Jack felt her clench down around his finger and he continued to move his hand, prolonging her pleasure as she shook beneath him. She let out one final huff and he slowly removed his hand from her, waiting until she opened her eyes before he put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. Karen moaned again and tugged his hand away from his mouth so she could shove her tongue inside, the taste of each other mixing together.  
  
When they parted they were both breathless, but satiated. Karen slowly disentangled herself from his arms and grabbed her panties from the floor, sheepishly sliding them back up her legs. Jack made a whining noise at the back of his throat and she rolled her eyes. Just as she finished pulling up her jeans there was a knock on the front door. Both teens frowned at each other and walked back toward the front of the house. Jack opened the door to reveal Will and Grace standing on the front porch in some sort of argument.  
  
"I thought we said you weren't invited," Karen grumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest, her hip cocked out to the side in a stance of attitude.  
  
Grace ignored her and barged inside past them, going straight for the kitchen as she muttered under her breath. Will too stepped inside, abeilt sheepishly. "Sorry, guys," he apologized quietly. "We got into an argument at the movies and left early."  
  
"So you came here?" Jack questioned with his eyebrow raised. He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "What was the argument about?"  
  
Will waved him off and walked past them into the living room. "It doesn't matter- oh my God! What are you guys watching?!"  
  
Jack and Karen forgot the porno was still going on in the living room and each rolled their eyes. "Its gay porn, Wilma," Karen sighed as she plopped down on the couch.  
  
"Why are you watching gay porn?" Grace asked as she entered the room with a bowl of ice cream. She plopped down on the couch beside Karen and shoved a giant spoonful of the chocolatey food into her mouth.  
  
"The hell kind of question is that?" Jack asked as he sat on the other side of Karen putting his arm on the back of the couch behind her so she could fall into his side. "Its self explanatory. Gay and porn!" Karen scoffed with him in agreement, both incredulous at Will and Grace's lack of sense in their minds.  
  
Will sat on the arm chair beside on the couch and tried his best not to stare at the screen, an uncomfortable grimace on his face. "Well, its tactless. And illegal. How did you even get this?"  
  
Jack shrugged. "Flirted with the guy at the video store. He was c-u-t-e!" he spelled the word out and fanned himself as he spoke while Karen giggled beside him.  
  
"Well could you turn it off? Its obnoxious."  
  
"You're obnoxious, Wilma!" Karen spat with a glare.  
  
Jack knew Will still was in denial about his sexuality and while he told him countless times to just come out, he understood that his friend was not ready yet. He grabbed the remote and flipped the VCR off, putting regular television on. He ignored Karen's sigh of frustration at his giving in to Will's request and instead settled further into the couch beside his best friend.  
  
"So what were you guys arguing about?" Karen inquired looking between Will and Grace.  
  
Grace shot Will a glare. "Ask _him_."  
  
Will felt his face get hot and he nervously crossed his leg over the other, shaking his foot. "Uh, we don't really need to discuss this with them."  
  
"No, I think we should." The redhead set the now empty bowl on the coffee table and crossed her arms over her chest and her leg over her knee, looking like she was more than ready to argue. "I want their opinion on it."  
  
"Grace, I don't think-"  
  
"Will doesn't want to have sex with me."  
  
"Grace!"  
  
The room was silent. Karen had amusement dancing in her eyes, trying her best not to laugh while Jack bit his lip and kept his eyes on the coffee table. Will looked angry and embarrassed while Grace had a defiant gleam in her eye. Wanting to break the tension, Karen opened her mouth, but Jack quickly covered it with his hand, shaking his head at her. She rolled her eyes and pouted, wanting to blurt the real elephant in the room, but obeyed Jack as he silently begged her not to say a word.  
  
"Come on, Will," Grace nodded her head to the pair beside her. "Tell them."  
  
"Grace," Will stood up, holding his hand out in front of him, the other placed on his hip. "I'm not doing this right now. This is our business, not theirs."  
  
"He told me that we're not ready, that it will shift our whole relationship, but I disagree!" she continued, looking at Jack and Karen who stared on in silence. "I'm more than ready for the next level."  
  
"Well," Jack cleared his throat. "Maybe Will isn't ready."  
  
Grace huffed, a petulant pout forming on her lips. "What 18 year old boy isn't ready for sex?"  
  
"What exactly are you defining as sex?" Karen asked curiously.  
  
" _Sex_ ," Grace raised her eyebrows as she elaborated. "Ya know, man and woman, joining together as one..."  
  
Jack and Karen both scrunched up their noses in disgust at her choice of words. "So have you guys tried any foreplay?" Jack asked. "Making out? Dry humping? Handies? Blowies?"  
  
This time Will and Grace were the ones looking at the pair in disgust. "No," they answered at the same time.  
  
"Well then, honey!" Karen whined in annoyance. "You're not ready for sex then!" At Grace's confused expression she elaborated. "You have to work up to sex when you're in a relationship. Like Jackie and me." She turned to grin at Jack who smiled back and kissed her forehead in agreement.  
  
"What?!" Will and Grace both exclaimed, shock evident on their faces.  
  
Jack and Karen looked at them confused. "What?"  
  
"You're gay," Will pointed to Jack. "Your relationship is a ruse to avoid telling your mom the truth."  
  
"Look who's taking..." Karen muttered under her breath.  
  
Will glanced at Grace to make sure she didn't hear Karen's comment and when he realized she didn't, he glared at Karen.  
  
"Anyway," Jack spoke up. "Karen is my best friend, we love each other, we know we could never hurt one another intentionally. So what if we dabble in sexual activities? At least we know we have a basis of trust and love as the foundation of our relationship."  
  
The three other people in the room stared at him in shock, not used to hearing such wise words come from their normally flamboyant and ditsy friend. Karen was stunned, her heart skipping a beat at his words and the sincerity of his voice.  
  
"Do you really mean that, Poodle?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
Jack looked down at her in adoration. "Of course, Bear."  
  
Karen reached up and kissed him hard on the mouth, her hand on his chest over his beating heart. When they parted, their foreheads touched briefly before they shared a loving grin.  
  
"Maybe you're right," Grace said as she observed the closeness between her two friends with envy. "Maybe we should just let things happen when they happen." She looked over at Will with an apologetic expression. "Sorry I freaked out on you."  
  
Will smiled and knelt down beside her, grabbing both hands in his. "I'm sorry too," he said. I'm just not ready yet."  
  
She nodded and kissed his cheek. "You wanna go for a walk?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
They stood up and laced their fingers together, looking back at Jack and Karen who were now giggling in hushed conversation. The couple shrugged and left the house without telling their friends goodbye, knowing that they were in their own little world anyway. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This turned out so much darker than I intended, but it will eventually come around. This whole chapter was predetermined, but I could never write it down until I listened to Hostage by Billie Eilish and realized exactly how I need to finish this series.

Karen lay on her bed, an open sketchbook resting in front of her as she gazed out the window. The clouds that drifted in looked menacing to her, but the image they portrayed gave her plenty to work with as she sketched the window and fire escape, a longing to be free from her trapped cage called "home" being drawn with every stroke of the pencil. Jack had given her this sketchbook for her birthday a few days ago, along with her first set of proper pencils and a few other artistic supplies. After only receiving a cold hug from Lois as her present, the gift brought tears to the brunette's eyes and she thanked the heavens once again for bringing Jack into her life. She had put the pencils to work immediately and drew a portrait of her best friend, the young, shy smile and gleam in his eyes forever marked in her special book. A crackling of thunder sounded and caused Karen to jump, her gaze quickly jarred as lightning flashed and the heavens opened up. She slid off the bed and walked towards the window, the sound of rain against the metal of the fire escape and the glass pane bringing a smile to her face. She watched as a drop slowly made its way down across the glass, right beside another until they finally connected and formed a larger drop, falling together and eventually out of sight into the wood of the sill. Another crack of thunder echoed followed by Karen's bedroom door slamming open violently. She spun around and saw Bernie standing there, his drunken demeanor and sneer causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand at attention. 

"Come here, Karen," he growled, meandering further into the room.

She shook her head, backing further away and grimacing at the stench of alcohol he put off. "Where's mom?" she asked shakily.

Bernie sniffed and let out a chuckle. "She's out." He took a few more steps, watching Karen very carefully as she back further away, eventually hitting the desk in the corner of the small room. "Come on, Kitten. Come to daddy..."

Karen swallowed loudly, her throat dry and her heart rapidly beating in fear. She felt around behind her, never blinking as she stared the large man down, until she found a nail file, the metal scraping against her fingertips. She curled her fingers around it and held it behind her back as Bernie continued to stalk up to her. "You're not my father," she said. "L-leave me alone."

"Aww, Kitten..." His voice was roughly unforgiving, a sound Karen was sure she was bound to hear in her nightmares. "Didn't your mother tell you? I've asked her to be my wife." He grinned, though it looked more like a grimace, and stopped in front of her, inches from her face. "I'm your new daddy. And daddy wants a kiss from his beautiful daughter."

His face inched closer and Karen shoved him off, his balance hindered by his intoxication and causing him to stumbled back. "No!" she screamed and began to dart for the door. She just made it past him when he regained his composure and grabbed her arm, reeling her back around to him. "Get off me!"

"Now now, Kitten," he breathed down on her. "That's no way to treat your father." He lifted a hand and smacked the back of it across her cheek, causing Karen's knees to buckle at the blow, but he held her firm and lifted her back upright. 

Remembering the item in her other hand, Karen used all her strength and tugged Bernie's hand that held her captive closer before she dug the sharp object into the flesh of his bicep. He let out a roaring shout and let go of her as he clutched his limb in pain. Karen rushed over to her bed, grabbing her sketch book and pencils, tossing them quickly into her backpack as well as a few spare clothing items that littered the messy sheets. Just as she turned to run out of the room, her mother appeared in the doorway.

"Kiki?" Lois asked, concern etched across her face at the sight of her daughter's tear stained cheeks. "What's going on? I heard shouting."

"Lois!" Bernie exclaimed from where he sat on the floor, his hand covered in the blood that leaked from his arm. The silver nail file shimmered in the light as it stuck out of his skin. "The bitch stabbed me!"

"Bernard!" The older woman rushed over to her fiance, her hands shaking as they hovered over the wound. She whipped her head around to Karen, her eyes shooting daggers at the teen. "What have you done?!"

"What have _I_ done?" Karen screamed back in anger. "I stood up for myself! I finally fought back! After two years of torment and beatings I finally took a fucking stand!" She let out a sob and begged her mother with her bloodshot, hazel eyes. "Come here and defend me, mom," she whispered. "Stand with me and defend me. Defend yourself!"

Lois stared at her daughter for a few moments, her own hazel eyes swimming with tears. She looked back at Bernie who was still writhing on the floor beside her and twisted the diamond ring that now sat perfectly on her finger with her thumb. Slowly, she shook her head and dropped her gaze to the floor, the tears finally falling. "I can't."

Karen's chest tightened, the final piece of hope that she ever had of loving her mother breaking her heart. She took one last look as Lois began to care for Bernie rather than care for her own daughter and then she tore out of the room, the sound of the front door slamming being drowned out from the thunder that roared outside. 

* * *

Jack put the last plate from the drying rack into the cupboard and set the dish towel that rest on his shoulder on the counter. Lightning flashed outside the kitchen window and he peered out into the darkness of nightfall. He was about to step away and head towards the living room when he noticed something unusual in his backyard. He narrowed his eyes and stared out at the blurred imaged of his old tree house, a light being cast from within it's four walls. He frowned, unnerved at the sight, and quickly dug through a few drawers until he found a flashlight. He snatched his coat off the back of the kitchen chair and rushed over to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. The rain beat down on him, the thin material of his jacket offering barely any protection against the raging storm. Once he reached the bottom of the tree, he held the flashlight between his teeth and climbed up the rickety ladder to investigate the ominous light. He heard a strange sound as he neared the top and questioned whether or not it was a good idea for him to investigate himself rather than calling the police. His hands shook as he grabbed the final rung and he hauled himself up, snatching the flashlight from his mouth and shining it into the tiny tree house that seemed so much larger in his youth. 

His heart almost stopped at the sight of his best friend huddled in the corner of the house, her knees drawn to her chest and sobs wracking her whole body. The light he was seeing from the window was caused by a few candles that were left when the group of four found a Ouija board and tried to summons some ghosts their Freshman year. "Kare?" he asked, climbing all the way in and setting the flashlight down beside the candles. He crawled over to her as she didn't seem to notice his presence yet and reached a delicate hand out to touch her knee. He flinched back when her head raised from its resting place between her knees and he took in the distraught look on her normally carefree face. 

"Jack..." She lunged forward and latched on to his neck, the force of her body smacking into his causing him to fall back on the squeaky floorboards beside her backpack. He sat up slightly and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, holding her to him as she cried into his neck. "I didn't know where else to go," she whispered, her voice catching on a sob. 

"Ssshh," he soothed, his lips pressed to her ear. "It's okay, Bear. You're okay."

He held her and whispered to her for a long while, neither knowing exactly how much time actually passed. The storm subsided and a steady downpour took it's place, the thunder and lightning only appearing every now and again in a far distance. Jack rocked Karen back and forth in his arms, completely unsure of what caused her to find refuge in his old tree house. He felt her trembling in his embrace and decided they needed to head inside before either of them became sick from the cold. "Come on, Kare, we should go in-"

"No!" she shrieked, clutching him tightly to her. "Please, I want to stay here. With you. Please Jack."

He gazed down into her pleading eyes and slowly nodded, relenting at her distress. "Let's at least get out of these wet clothes," he told her. He pried himself away from her clutches and reached over to the opposite corner of the wooded house, gathering some left behind blankets in his hands. He got on his hands and knees, laying a blanket down next to the lit candles and sat back to take off his soaked jacket along with his tshirt. He glanced behind him to see Karen's shaking hands try to unbutton her plaid shirt to no avail and he reached out, grabbing her small, cold hand in his. She looked up at him in question and Jack smiled warmly at her. He pulled her towards him, guiding her down to lay back on the soft blanket. He placed his knees on either side of her thighs and began to unbutton her shirt, revealing her pale flesh to his eyes inch by inch. 

 _I wanna be alone_  
_Alone with you - does that make sense?_  
_I wanna steal your soul_  
_And hide you in my treasure chest_

Once her shirt was completely unbuttoned, Karen sat up to help him take it off of her, her breasts bare and nipples hard from the freezing air. His hands began to work on her jeans and he leaned over her, brushing his nose over her jaw and down, his lips placing hot kisses across the cold skin of her neck. She gasped, goosebumps rising over her flesh and her body temperature increased despite the harsh fall air. Jack pushed her jeans and underwear down her legs, moving away from her for just a moment as the wet material was removed completely. He made hasty movements on his own pants, tugging them away from his shivering body to pile on top of her clothes. He grabbed two more blankets and brought them down with him as he lay beside Karen on the hard floor. He pulled her to him and their bodies molded together, providing them a source of heat that the thin blankets draped over them could not compare with. 

 _I don't know what to do_  
_To do with your kiss on my neck_  
_I don't know what feels true_  
_But this feels right so stay a sec_  
_Yeah, you feel right so stay a sec_

Karen wrapped her leg around his hip, their arms linked together between their chests. His warm breath on her face comforted her as they stared deep into one another's eyes. Jack's hand slowly raised and brushed a stray tear away from her cheek, the moisture hot on his thumb. Karen's eyes closed and her palm rest over Jack's heart, feeling it's steady beat thump in time with her own. "I'm never going back there," she said finally. 

Knowing the place she was referring to, Jack pulled her impossibly closer. "You don't have to. You can stay here, with us. Mother won't mind."

Karen shook her head and opened her eyes as they filled with tears once again. "I can't, Jack," she whispered, her voice small and faint. "I have to leave the city."

Jack felt like his heart had completely stopped at her words, confusion and disbelief covering his normal delicate and boyish features. "What are you talking about? You can't... You can't leave me."

She didn't answer him. She lifted her hand from his chest and brought it to his cheek as she raised her head up to kiss him. Jack felt a wave of sadness hit him as he kissed her back, a sense of finality settling itself between them. Their lips parted only for a second before he pushed her onto her back and lay over her, his lips hard against hers in a desperate attempt to imprint the feeling in his mind forever. 

_And let me crawl inside your veins_

_I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain_

_It's not like me to be so mean_

_You're all I wanted_

_Just let me hold you_

_Like a hostage_

Their kisses deepened and their bodies began to tingle with arousal. Karen arched her back so her nipples brushed his chest and moaned, her tongue tangling with his. Jack propped himself up on his forearms, reveling in the feeling of Karen's hands on his back, his shoulders, through his hair. He bucked his hips up and the tip of his aching cock brushed against the coarse hair between her legs causing them both to gasp. He parted their mouths to look down at her flushes, yet content face and she nodded her head in assurance as she parted her legs. He moved his lower body down until he found her entrance, his dick coating in her juices. Their eyes locked and he began to push his way inside her tight canal. Her face contorted in pain and tears dripped from her eyes, but Jack didn't stop until he was fully sheathed inside of her. Karen's breaths came out in pants and Jack tried to ignore her slick walls as they gripped him. He waited patiently for her to gather herself, his lips kissing away the tears on her cheeks. Karen swallowed and licked her lips, willing her body to relax.

Jack's mouth brushed her ear and he whispered into it three words that Karen believed with her soul were nothing but the truth.

"I love you."

Her body finally relaxed under him and she shifted her hips up, making him groan into her neck. Smiling, Karen grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him as he started to pull out of her, only to push back in again. "I love you, too."

_Gold on your fingertips_

_Fingertips against my cheek_

_Gold leaf across your lips_

_Kiss me until I can't speak_

Their bodies moved in perfect sync, gasps and sighs of pleasure filling the small tree house. His eyebrows knit in concentration, seeking out the utmost pleasure for her while trying to keep his at bay. Their mouths sought each other out, their tongues mirroring what their lower halves were doing. Karen held him to her, felt him as he moved inside of her, and memorized everything about this moment in time. 

_Gold chain beneath your shirt_

_The shirt that you let me wear home_

_Gold's fake and real love hurts_

_And nothing hurts when I'm alone_  
_When you're with me and we're alone_

"Jack," she gasped right before her body trembled beneath his, her body succumbing to her release.

He followed her quickly, the pleasure contradicting the pain he felt in his heart. "Karen," he sobbed, stilling inside of her.

She anchored him to her and cried with him, their hearts full, but heavy. She never wanted to let him go, she wanted to keep him by her side at all times, to go through life together and carefree, like they always planned when they were twelve. She knew it would never be, though. They would have to part eventually and go on in separate ways. She hoped that one day they would find each other again, that fate would bring them together and mend their wounded hearts. She would leave in the morning and he would have to go on without her, as she would without him, but for right now, they simply held each other and pretended they could stay like this for eternity. 

_And let me crawl inside your veins_

_I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain_

_It's not like me to be so mean_

_You're all I wanted_

_Just let me hold you_  
_Hold you_

_Like a hostage_  
_Like a hostage_


	5. Chapter 5

Nine months. 

Nine months since he last saw her, since he last felt her touch against his. Nine months since he felt like he could breathe.

He didn't know where she was, who she was with, if she was safe. The thoughts drove him mad at times, fits of rage consuming him and causing him to lash out at the closest thing or person nearby. His mother didn't understand, Will and Grace didn't understand. He felt alone, isolated, his soul split in two at her departure. 

The news broke fast of what transpired at the Delaney house that night. Once Lois caught wind of Karen leaving, gone somewhere she was to never be found, the mother left Bernie high and dry, packing her things and his money and taking off much like her own daughter. Some say she went to go in search of Karen, but others who knew her well said she was just off to find another man she could con. Everyone questioned Jack and tried to get him to speak of that night, but he refused. The last moments he shared with Karen were precious to him and he would never pollute them with other people's words or thoughts. 

The graduation day for the now group of three was bittersweet. They were cheerful for their success, but the empty seat in front of Jack that should have held his best friend brought a sense of sorrow over the teens. They busied themselves in the summer with jobs and preparation for college. Jack never had any intention of attending school beyond his high school years, his dream of making it big on Broadway always filling up his time. Will and Grace were to attend Columbia while Jack went to auditions and took acting lessons, but he knew the separation from his only two friends wouldn't compare to that of Karen's disappearance. 

"Jack?"

He snapped himself from his deep thoughts and looked up at Will from his place on the front steps. The car parked in the street was loaded with Will and Grace's things, ready to be unpacked in the dorm rooms they now occupied across from each other. Will still had yet to come out to Grace, letting her believe their relationship was okay while desperately trying to convince himself of the same. He was terrified of losing her, of losing the best friend he had ever known. He was ever grateful for Jack for never outing him, the teen telling him that only when he was ready should he reveal his true self. Will secretly hoped he was never ready.

Jack stood from the stair and stepped into Will's embrace, hugging him back as equally affectionate as Will held him. "I'll see you on weekends, right?" Will asked, his voice slightly muffled from Jack's shoulder.

Nodding, Jack pulled away and held Will at arm's length. "I plan on being invited to a few of those parties," he said with a smile. "There's a lot of cute college boys I'm dying to meet." Will rolled his eyes and pat Jack on the back as he stepped aside, letting Grace say her goodbyes next. He couldn't help but compare the other woman to Karen with a frown. She felt so different in his arms, tall and bony, nothing like what he was used to when he held a girl. "Keep and eye out for her, yeah?"

Grace nodded and kissed his cheek in understanding. "We will." She smiled at the blue eyed boy, her red curls blowing in the light breeze. "Bye Jack."

Jack sat back down on the stair as Will and Grace walked to the car and climbed in. He watched the vehicle drive down the street and turn right, his eyes only breaking contact when it could no longer be seen. He sighed and looked down at his shoes, his thoughts filling with sadness and longing. He put his hand inside his pocket, digging down until his fingers brushed a weathered piece of paper. Pulling the material out, Jack unfolded the tear stained parchment and gazed at the sketch before him. With a sigh, his fingertips traced the lines, remembering back to that night when Karen sketched the picture of their coupling in his tree house. She must have waited until he had fallen asleep before she grabbed the necessary materials and began to draw. There wasn't much detail to the hurried sketch, but when Jack woke the next morning, alone, he knew exactly what the picture represented, what it meant for both of them. Her curved letters in the top right of the page stood boldly out at him, the words "remember me x K" forever imprinted in his mind. 

He stood up from the step and slowly folded the paper back in place, returning it where it resided every day since she left. He turned and walked inside his mother's home, the thin paper weighing heavy in his pocket.

* * *

"Are you okay?" 

Karen quickly swiped her hand under her eye, brushing away the tear that was making its way down her cheek. "Y-yes, I'm fine."

Claire stared at the brunette across from her, a mug of coffee held between her hands. "Karen," she said gently, dropping her chin to try and catch the hazel eyes that were downcast. "Talk to me."

Her lip trembled and Karen felt shame envelop her body. "I'm okay, Claire. Honestly." She took a deep breath and swallowed the lump that was lodged in her throat.

Reaching across the table, Claire placed her hand on top of Karen's and squeezed, causing the girl to finally meet her eye. "I don't want to upset you further, Karen, so I won't bring up anything that you don't want to discuss, but just know that I am here for you when you are ready, okay?" She watched the girl nod, an appreciative smile forming on her lips as she squeezed Claire's hand back. "So what are you doing out in California?"

Karen cleared her throat and tucked her long hair behind her ear. "Since I left New York, I've been all over the country. I haven't really been able to stay on my feet and I've done some terrible things just to get a decent meal or a bed to sleep in." She bit her lip and shifted uncomfortably in her seat at Claire's look of surprise. "I-I need a place to stay, Claire. I'm out of money. I'm out of options. I refuse to resort to my mother's way of getting money and I knew you were attending UCLA. You're the only person I know in California. I was hoping you could let me crash for weeks until-"

"Karen," the blonde interrupted, a wide grin on her pink tinted lips. "Of course you can stay with me. I'll get you a job at the diner I work at, The owner is my mom's brother, Lucas. He's really nice and will take good care of you."

Her shoulder's relaxed from their tense state and she let out a breath of relief. "Thank you so much, Claire. Seriously, you have no idea what this means."

Claire waved her off, bringing her mug of coffee to her lips. "I'd do anything for the girl that gave me my first kiss."

_Don't be that way_   
_Fall apart twice a day_   
_I just wish you could feel what you say_   
_Show, never tell_   
_But I know you too well_   
_Kind of mood that you wish you could sell_

"You're not wearing that, are you?"

Karen jumped at the voice that intruded her memories and looked over her shoulder. Lucas St. Croix stared down at her in disgust and Karen crossed her arms over her chest as if to shield herself away from his gaze. "You don't like it?" she asked meekly.

Lucas scoffed and fastened his tie around his neck. "You look like a fucking whore, Karen," he sneered. "Go change. Now."

"But Lucas-"

The blow from his hand came quick and fast against her cheek, her small body falling to the floor. She shakily reached up to wipe the blood from her mouth as tears quickly fell from her eyes and she stared at her new husband in shock. "Don't you dare talk back to me," he growled. "Hurry up and go change. We're going to be late."

Karen waited until he left the room before she stood up, her legs weak beneath her. She stalked over to the closet on the other side of the room and began to unzip her formfitting dress. She and Lucas had only been dating a few months when they married. Claire introduced them when she asked her uncle if Karen could have a job and the older man quickly became fond of the young girl. Karen was reserved at first, knowing her heart belonged elsewhere and always would, but she craved the affection she once had and gave in to the man. They married a week before her nineteenth birthday. It took two weeks for Lucas to show his true self, his temper short and his demands of her wifely duties nearly impossible to make. Karen didn't know when exactly she lost herself, lost her sense of pride and dignity, but she figured it was somewhere between the "I" and the "do". 

"Karen!" Lucas bellowed from the other room of their home.

She grabbed a much more conservative dress off the hanger and quickly slipped it on before rushing to fix her makeup, covering the bruise on her cheek and cut on her lip. In minutes, she joined her husband and begin their evening at the small business event they were to attend. 

The night seemed to drag on in a blur. Karen met countless people and smiled falsely at all of them, wanting nothing more than to go home. Lucas held her possessively to his side all evening, his grip surely bruising her where his fingers dug in. "This here," his deep voice spoke beside her. "Is my beautiful wife, Karen." 

Respectfully, Karen reached out and shook hands with the large man in front of her. "Nice to meet you," she said softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name, Mr...?"

"Walker," the burly man spoke. "Stanley Walker." He gestured to the tall woman beside him who looked like nothing more than a plain Jane in Karen's opinion. "This is my wife, Kathy. We own a mattress store off Olive."

"It's a pleasure, Mr. Walker." She eyed the man she was just introduced to and caught him gazing back at her. A blush rose to her cheeks under his scrutiny, knowing his eyes were drawn to the swelling of her lip and the darkness of a bruise on her cheek. "Excuse me, I have to go powder my nose." She tried to step away from Lucas, but his rough hands brought her back into his side, his hot breath on her ear causing shivers to run down her spine.

"Hurry back, baby," he whispered. "I love you." He placed a kiss to her cheek and let her go, Karen practically running away towards the bathrooms. 

She stood in front of the mirror and saw the redness of her eyes, the telltale sign of tears ready to fall at any moment. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, imagining blue eyes and a warm smile, red hair and a loud laugh, trusting hands and a feeling of home. When she opened her eyes again, the tears were gone, her expression changing from one of weakness to one of cold and emotionless. "This isn't me," she whispered to her reflection. "I don't know who you are, but you're not me." She swallowed down the last emotion she could feel and stood up straighter. "I hate you."

_If teardrops could be bottled_

_There'd be swimming pools filled by models_   
_Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore_   
_If "I love you" was a promise_   
_Would you break it, if you're honest_   
_Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before_   
_I don't wanna be you anymore_

* * *

His chest heaved with deep, labored breaths. The activities he just partook in should have relaxed him, but alas he lay there just as tense as he was a few hours ago; as he has been for years. The man that now cuddled into his side was warm, but Jack still felt cold. This feeling had been with him for some time now. He was lonely, had been for six years. Will and Grace filled the void for a short while, but once Will finally came out to Grace in college, the three rarely saw each other any more. Grace came around after a year, but Jack distanced himself from them long before that and only occasionally did they catch up. He was still struggling as an actor, only getting small jobs here and there, if that. His mother paid half his rent, his job as a cater waiter paying the other half. This was not the life he ever imagined he would be living and frankly he was getting tired of it. He pried himself from the now snoring man and redressed himself quietly, slipping out the front door unnoticed and into the warm summer night.

Jack was a hit it and quit it kind of man, never growing attached to someone in fear of losing them. He lost her all those years ago and it tore a hole right through his heart. He did not intend on going through that again so he closed himself off emotionally and just lived in the moment. Men came and went, names replaced and faces changing so fast he couldn't even remember who they all were. Will had recently settled down with his boyfriend Michael. Jack wasn't fond of the man, knowing Will could do much better, but Will brushed his friend's opinion off, chalking it up to his not understanding of what real love feels like. 

_Hands, hands getting cold_   
_Losing feeling's getting old_   
_Was I made from a broken mold?_   
_Hurt, I can't shake_   
_We've made every mistake_   
_Only you know the way that I break_

Jack did know what real love felt like, he knew it since the first day he lay eyes on Karen when they were twelve years old. A few boys had been picking on him during gym class for the way he threw a ball and Jack ran way from the field to sit down, trying to ignore the mocking from his classmates. She had walked right up to where he sat, her hand on her hip and her long dark hair blowing in the wind. _"Honey, what's going on? What's happening? What's with the puppy eyes and pouty lips?"_ she'd said, her voice higher in pitch than most girls.

Jack smiled fondly, the memory so strong it felt like it was only yesterday. 

He entered his own apartment and threw the keys on the table. He immediately went to the bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes, turning on the shower. As he stood under the stream of hot water, his titled his head back, his eyes closed and his thoughts drifting to those of wonderment. Wondering how she was doing, if she was happy... Wondering if he would ever feel warm again in a world without her.

And later, when he stood in front of the foggy mirror, staring down at his reflection, he realized he couldn't go on living like this. He had to change his mindset, change his ways, mend his broken heart, and move on from his past. 

_If teardrops could be bottled_   
_There'd be swimming pools filled by models_   
_Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore_   
_If "I love you" was a promise_   
_Would you break it, if you're honest_   
_Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before_   
_I don't wanna be you_

* * *

The alcohol burned her throat as it slid down, but her eyes showed no discomfort from the dark liquid. The rock that weighed down her finger glimmered in the light of the bar, the third and hopefully final ring to ever grace her hand. After divorcing Lucas, Karen ended up resorting to her mother's con-artist skills, finding a man quickly and coercing him into marrying her. Johnny Popeil was the victim and Karen dug her claws in tight. The marriage wasn't as bad as her first, but after three years of buying things that only brought her temporary happiness with her husband's money, Karen grew bored and filed for divorce. She was able to live off of the money from her settlement for quite some time, dating around and meeting people. And then one night, as she was dancing in a club, she stumbled back into someone. 

She reacquainted herself with Stanley Walker in more ways than one that night. She fell fast and hard for the business man only to find out that he was still married and his wife was expecting their second child. Her cold heart cracked a bit, if only for a short while. Stan eventually did divorce Kathy and asked Karen to marry him, a night she was sure she would never forget. They began to plan the small wedding when Stan's expansion of the mattress business took off and suddenly he was filthy rich. He sold their home in Los Angeles and bought a mansion in the upper west side of New York City. 

Karen did everything but dig her heels into the pavement when Stan forced her to move back to New York, afraid of memories from the life she used to live that were sure to come flooding back. The only way Karen would agree to move was if she brought her El Salvadorian friend with her to work for them. Stan relented and within two weeks they were moved and settled into gigantic home. They married a year later at St. Patrick Cathedral and when they got back from their honeymoon, they found Stan's kids waiting for them to return home. Kathy apparently found a plastic surgeon and married him, the couple moving to England and leaving the five and two year old with their father and new stepmother. Karen tried her best to be a replacement, but she barely knew these kids, nor the first thing to do when it came to caring for them. She quickly hired a nanny and few extra maids, ignoring the side comments from Rosario and the disappointed looks from Stan.

Two years dragged on and Karen sat, bored out of her mind, staring at the newspaper. Her silk robe was soft against her skin, her long brown hair slightly curled and swept to the side, hanging down around her waist. Her eyes glanced over the pages, words coming and going blankly. When she reached the ad section, her eyes fell upon a name she hadn't seen in years. "Assistant to interior designer of Grace Adler Designs," she read aloud to herself. She felt her heart leap into her throat, butterflies fluttering about in her stomach rapidly as an idea struck her. 

This was it. This was the escape she needed. This was the sign that would change her; get rid of this woman she became and find her true self that she had been desperately missing for years. She stood up in a blind rush and opened the drawer by the sink, finding the scissors. She cut out the little ad and shoved it in the pocket of her robe before turning to head upstairs and change. She took one step and then paused, glancing down at herself. With a shake of her head, she picked the scissors back up and carefully ran through her bedroom and into the bathroom. She didn't even know if Grace would hire her, let alone talk to her, but she had to try. Maybe she could reconnect with her friends again. Maybe she could find him. Maybe she could begin living again.

She positioned herself in front of the large mirror over the sink and stared her reflection down, her fist holding a handful of hair, her other hand steady with the scissors as the blades neared her brown tresses. Hair began to fall to the floor around her feet and she felt more alive with every snip. As the final chunk fell to the tiled floor, Karen looked into the mirror and found a whole new woman standing before her. With a smile, she ran her fingers through the short locks, the only thought on her mind being "I hope Jack likes it." 

_I don't wanna be you... anymore_


	6. Chapter 6

Her hands were shaking, the sound of her heels clacking against the concrete floor echoed as she walked down the hall of the building. She clutched tightly to her Prada bag and stopped in front of a frosted glass door, the words "Grace Adler Designs" standing out boldly. She lifted a hand to the door and knocked twice before entering the small office. Turning to the right she found yards of fabric piled on top of a tall desk, along with giant sketch pads and various fabric samples. On the floor, just beneath the desk was Grace, on her hands and knees, picking up pencils that seemed to have fallen over from the cup they were held in. Karen bit back a smile, remembering back to years prior when Grace was just as clumsy. She cleared her throat in hopes to get the redhead's attention and waited nervously for her to turn around.   
  
"Sorry, I'll be with you in a second," Grace said as she gathered the last of the pencils. "You can obviously see why I need an assistant, this place is a disaster and I need some help."   
  
Karen snorted quietly, shaking her head. "You were always a disaster, honey."   
  
The woman froze, mid-movement and Karen felt her stomach tighten with nerves. Grace quickly scrambled off the floor and spun around to face Karen, her hands still clutching the colored pencils. They stared each other down for a few moments, their eyes locked. Grace's jaw was dropped comically, her expression one of sheer disbelief. "K-Karen?"   
  
"Hi, Gracie." She inwardly flinched, hating how small she sounded. Deep down she knew she was just nervous about how her old friend would react to her presence, terrified of her rejection. "I'm here to apply for the job," she explained. "I don't really need the money, so you don't have to worry about paying me, but I do have a lot of contacts. Some friends of Stan's, my husband. They're always competing with each other for the best decorated house or something stupid like that. I know it's been a long time and you don't owe me any favors, but it would really mean a lot if you let me work here with you and-"   
  
Graced rushed forward and enveloped Karen in a bone-crushing hug, cutting off the brunette's rambling. Karen gasped at the contact and dropped her purse, wrapping her arms around the tall woman and letting her body relax in the embrace, feeling a sense of security overwhelm her for the first time in twelve years. Tears sprang to her eyes, but didn't fall, the brunette well trained in keeping her emotions at bay.   
  
"I missed you," Grace whispered in her ear.  
  
Karen squeezed the woman closer. "I missed you, too."   
  
After a few long moments, they parted from each other, large smiles gracing their faces. Grace placed her hands on Karen's shoulders and then slid them down her arms to her hands, holding the shorter woman's arms out to the side so she could observe her. "Look at you," the designer said wistfully. "You've come quite a long way from ripped jeans and converse."   
  
Karen chuckled and shrugged. "I still have a few pairs hidden away in my closet. I wear them when Stan and the kids are out of the house."   
  
Grace's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Kids? You have kids?"   
  
Shaking her head, Karen tugged Grace's hands and looked down to her shoes. "We have a lot to catch up on, honey," she sighed. "But first, do you think you could consider me for the job? I know I'm not really experienced in the field, but I-"   
  
"Karen," the woman interrupted her again with a warm grin. "You're hired."

* * *

Two weeks later, the women were sitting together in the large loveseat by the window, looking down at Grace's year books from high school, laughing and sharing memories. They reminisced about the good 'ol days when they were young and carefree, enjoying life and friendships they had. As Karen turned the pages and scanned the book, Grace reached over to her purse, pulling a picture out and placing it in front of the brunette. "I found this also," she said. "I thought you might want it."   
  
Karen gasped as she stared down at the picture set before her, her finger reaching out to trace the young faces. The photo portrayed Jack and Karen in the basement of Grace's house. He was standing behind her, their hands laced together, her arms wrapped around herself and his on top. His face was in her neck and Karen had her head tossed back against his shoulder, laughing at something he had just whispered in her ear. Karen smiled fondly at the memory and bit her lip, her eyes fixated on her best friend. "We were so happy," she whispered.   
  
Grace observed her friend, seeing so many emotions cross her face. She placed her hand on Karen's thigh and squeezed it in comfort. "We still see him every once in a while," Grace told her. "Eventually he's going to show up here like he usually does every few months and he's going to see you."   
  
Karen cleared her throat and swallowed her emotions down, putting the photo between her breasts for safe keeping. She patted Grace's hand and closed the yearbook before standing. "Thanks for the picture, Grace, but we should really get back to work."  
  
The redhead frowned, but didn't push her friend. She knew Karen had her reasons for not contacting them for so many years, but Grace didn't push the boundaries and demand answers when the brunette showed up on her doorstep a few weeks ago. She was almost afraid that one wrong gesture or word would scare Karen away and there would never been any hope to get the fab four back together again. So she let Karen keep to herself and let them slip back into their old ways of the socialite making fun of her clothes and Grace barking snide comments about her drinking. There was a familiarity to them and a nice routine that settled between the two; Karen helped with work sometimes, but for the most part she just read her magazine and fussed with her nails or makeup as Grace half-heartedly complained.   
  
She reunited with Will on the third week, Grace keeping her new assistant's identity a secret at Karen's request. Will couldn't take it anymore and stopped by the office to take Grace to lunch as a ruse to find out who the mystery woman was. When he walked through the door of the designer's office, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Karen sitting on the tall desk next to Grace, a martini limply held in her hands while the redhead sketched a bedroom for her client. His jaw dropped much like Grace's had and Karen smirked at the lawyer knowingly.   
  
"Wilma," she greeted nonchalantly.   
  
"Cruella?" Will replied and Karen threw her head back to cackle at the old nickname. Will's spine straightened and he smiled, reaching his hand out for Karen to take, helping her slide off the table. Never being the most affectionate with the man, Karen was surprised when he hugged her tightly, but instead of stiffening in his arms she squeezed him back, pressing a kiss to his cheek. The three friends went to lunch together, sitting at the cafe for over two hours. Will started to bring up Jack when Grace kicked him under the table and shook her head to stop him. He frowned, rubbing his now bruised shin, but seemed to understand and dropped whatever antidote he was going to contribute to the conversation about the blue-eyed man.

* * *

A few more weeks went by and one day, when Grace was at a client meeting, the phone rang. Karen picked up the receiver like she normally would and opened her mouth to spout Grace's business greeting when the voice she dreamt about sounded in her ear.   
  
"Grace, don't hang up!" Jack explained into the phone. "I promise I'll return your tassel, but first I need a huge favor!"   
  
Karen froze, her heart jumping to her throat and her eyes immediately filling with tears. She didn't expect this, wasn't ready to face him. It took a while for her to let Grace and Will in, but Jack was a whole other situation. She didn't say anything for a long while, to the point where Jack was asking if anyone was even on the other line. Clearing her throat, Karen licked her lips and dropped her voice to disguise it. "Sorry, M-Miss Adler isn't here at the moment. Can I take a message?"   
  
"Oh," Jack replied and she could hear the confusion in his voice. "Sorry, I didn't realise she finally hired an assistant."   
  
"Its okay, hon-" she stopped herself from the endearment, afraid he would become suspicious and bit her lip, hoping he didn't notice the slight slip. "Would you like for me to have Miss Adler call you, Mister...?"   
  
"Jack," he said cheerfully. "Just Jack. And what's your name?"   
  
In an instant, Karen forgot every name in the world and sputtered out, "Karen" before she could even think. She smacked her hand to her forehead, praying the disguise of her normal voice was enough to trick the man.   
  
"A beautiful name," he told her, a smile evident in his tone and Karen's heart skipped a beat. "Anyway, let Grace know that her tassel is safe and that I need her to call me whenever she gets back."   
  
"Sure," she said slowly. "Goodbye... Just Jack."   
  
He giggled his goodbye into the phone and Karen grinned as she hung up. She leaned back into her seat and let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in, the butterflies in her stomach that she hadn't felt in years going wild.   
  
Before she knew it, months had passed and Jack began to call once a week just to chat with Karen. She completely ignored Grace's questioing eyes the first time she picked up the phone with a much deeper voice and continued her normal conversation with the man she loved for almost 25 years. He always asked what Grace was wearing and Karen would go on and on about the designer's poor clothing choices while Jack agreed and they laughed together. One time, in the middle of a conversation, Jack became quiet after Karen cracked a joke and she pouted.  
  
"You there?" she asked, fearing the call was dropped.   
  
"Yeah," he replied quietly. "Its just... You remind me of someone I used to know a long time ago." Karen's hand slipped over her mouth to cover her gasp and her heart felt like it stopped beating for a moment. Jack took no notice of the other woman's distress and continued on. "She was so funny, like you." His words drifted off and Karen bit her lip so hard she almost drew blood. "I loved her."   
  
In that moment, hearing those words, Karen came to the realization that she was done hiding from him. She needed him back in her life and her attempts at stalling their reunion needed to be put to an immediate stop. She wasn't even completely sure why she put it off for so long. She wanted nothing more than to be held by him again, but she supposed like she felt when she walked into Grace Adler Designs all those months ago, she was scared of the possible rejection. But hearing those words from him again, the words he used to say to her every day, she made the decision right then and there that she was ready to face him and hopefully get back what she had been missing since she left that fall morning. She wasn't going to do it over the phone, though, so she swallowed loudly and spoke quickly.   
  
"I have to go."  
  
"But-"   
  
She hung up and put her face in her hands, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. Grace came in from the swatch room and noticed the brunette's flushed face, peering over at her with concern. "You okay, Kare?"   
  
Karen jumped at her voice and looked up, a false smile on her lips. "Yeah, uh, honey, I don't feel well. Is it okay if I head home?"   
  
Nodding slowly, Grace watched Karen gather her things and rush out the door with a quick wave of her hand.

* * *

True to Grace's word, Jack eventually did show up one day out of the blue, but now she was fully prepared to see her best friend, her soulmate, and reunite with him.   
  
Karen sat at her desk, sketching a portrait of the man from memory with Grace's colored pencils when she heard him. His voice was the same like it was since they were kids, the timber sending a shiver of anticipation down her spine.   
  
"Grace, you're making a huge mistake!" Jack exclaimed as he rushed into the office.   
  
They glanced at each other and Karen quickly looked back at her sketchbook, the sketchbook the man standing in the room gave her twelve years ago. She tried to contain her smile and just waited for everything to click into place, waited for him to realize who she was.   
  
"Are you Karen?"   
  
She looked up again, the smile so big on her face it was beginning to hurt. "Yes, honey." She went back to her drawing, but to be honest she wasn't even paying attention to it.  
  
"Well, Peter, Paul and Mary, you are fabulous!" he exclaimed, smacking his leg in emphasis.   
  
She laughed, keeping her head down. "Thank you..." Playing coy, she asked, "Who are you?"   
  
"I'm Jack."   
  
"Jaaack..." She drew the name out playfully. "Oh, Will's Jack?" Extending her hand, Karen finally gazed up fully at the man who's blue eyes haunted her dreams for years. "We've talked on the phone a million times, honey. I can't believe we've never met..."   
  
His hand grabbed hers and there, at that simple touch, the air in the room shifted. Jack's hand latched on to Karen's tightly and he practically pulled her off the chair until she stood before him. Her smile was brilliant, her eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall at any moment. Jack stared her down, his mind going miles a minute, his body trembling at the sight of the woman he loved.   
  
"Karen," he breathed out. He reached up and caressed her face slowly, his fingertips brushing her cheeks and down to her jaw. "Oh my God. You're here. It's you. I'm not dreaming...?"   
  
She stepped closer, placing her hand on his chest over his heart. "You're not dreaming, Poodle."   
  
He was at a loss for words, riddled with so many emotions all at once. Karen took notice of the questions burning in his eyes and opened her mouth to explain when suddenly Jack's lips were on hers in a blinding kiss. Her knees buckled and she fell into him, kissing him back hard, feeling like her life depended on it. And in a way, it kind of did. In this this kiss she was rediscovering who she once was and fixing every mistake she felt she made. The tears she had been holding in since she first stepped into this office months ago, that she had been holding in for years, finally dropped down her cheeks, mingling with Jack's. He pushed her sweater off her shoulders and she let it drop to the floor at their feet, moaning into his mouth when he began to grab at her body as if reassuring himself that this really was her standing with him. When air became a necessity, Jack parted their mouths, dragging his lips down her neck, her throat, and across her chest as he slowly got on his knees in front of her. Karen tangled her fingers in his hair and let her eyes fall close, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face into her stomach, holding her so tight she felt like she couldn't breathe. But she could breathe, now that he was here with her again, she could take in the deepest of breaths and let it out again, something she hadn't been able to do for so many years.   
  
"Oh God," he sobbed into her. "I don't... I don't understand." He looked up at her, his hands still clutching at her clothes. "We've been talking for months..."  
  
Karen sighed and sat down on the floor beside him, her arm around his waist, their chests brushing and faces only inches apart. "I know I have a lot to explain, Jackie. I know you won't fully understand my reasoning behind what I did, what I have been doing..." She trailed off, looking down at his chest for a moment in thought. "Hell, I'm not even sure I understand myself." Looking back into his eyes, she grinned, opening herself up to the one person she always could. "But you can ask me anything you want and I'll answer to the best of my ability."   
  
Jack's eyes darted back and forth between hers, his expression still one of disbelief. "Ya know," he croaked out. "For so many years I've accumulated thousands of questions for you, most of them 'why', but now, sitting here with you in my arms again..." He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. "I realize none of that matters anymore. What matters is right now. What matters is you, here with me. Us." He captured her lips with his and Karen smiled into the kiss. When they parted, Jack lifted his hand to her hair, tucking a short strand behind her ear. "You know I loved your long hair, but wow..."   
  
Biting her lip, Karen asked, "what?"  
  
Jack shook his head, his fingers now running through the dark locks. "You're just so beautiful, Bear." Her breath hitched in her throat at the nickname and she kissed him again, letting go of whatever reservations she had left of their reunion. "Now don't get me wrong," he said as he pulled away abruptly. "I do still have some questions." He grabbed her left hand from around his waist and lifted it between them, the diamond on her finger sparkling in the light. "Like who's the lucky fella?"   
  
Smiling broadly, she kissed him again briefly. "I'll tell you about him at lunch."   
  
After they stood from the floor, Jack helped Karen into her sweater, looking sheepish. "I would love to take you out, but-"   
  
Karen's laugh interrupted him and she placed a hand on his arm as if to steady herself. "No, silly," she giggled. " _I'm_ taking you to lunch. We'll take the limo." 

"The limo?!" his jaw dropped and he followed her out the door of the office. "Who the hell are you married to?"   



	7. Epilogue

A gentle rain pattered down on the window, lightning flashing in the distance and illuminating the room in a light blue hue for a few seconds before it darkened again. It was cold outside, the windows decorated around the edges in frost, the fireplace in the living room giving off a warmth throughout the whole apartment. Two forms lay on their backs on the bed in a comfortable silence, their hands clasped together between their bodies. The day's events had exhausted them both for various reasons, the main reason being Lois Whitley. In a weird twist of events, Jack had reunited Karen and her mother for her birthday. She couldn't blame him for bringing the woman back into her life, he didn't know the full story of why she left in the first place 18 years ago. It took a while, but the mother and daughter ended up forgiving each other and Karen took her out to dinner. After dropping Lois by her apartment, Karen came straight to Jack's, using her key to get in. She kicked off her heels and dropped her purse by the door, entering the bedroom quietly.  
  
He was still awake and sitting on the bed, facing away from her, his gaze out the window as the rain began to fall. She climbed onto the mattress on her hands and knees behind him and pressed chest to his back, her arms coming around his shoulders, hands rubbing circles on his bare chest and her lips kissing his temple. Since Stan went to prison a few months ago, Karen spent a few nights a week at her best friend's, hating how lonely the manse was most of the time. Jack leaned back into her and turned his head to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. Karen deepened the kiss, her tongue making it's way into his mouth and tangling with his, both of them sighing at the contact. He turned his body, keeping their mouths connected and gently pushed her back onto the mattress, crawling over her. Karen's arms wrapped tight around his neck to anchor him to her, her back arching when his hand found her breast and squeezed it. Just when Karen moved her hands down his back to his jeans, Jack parted their mouths and stared down at her, breathing heavily from their deep kisses.  
  
"I want you to tell me," he said. "I want you to tell me everything."  
  
It took Karen a moment to understand what he was talking about, but then it dawned on her. In the four years since they reconnected, Jack had never once asked about the years they spent apart. She licked her lips and nodded slowly as Jack slid off from on top of her, opting to lay by her side as she spoke.  
  
And now, two hours later, they still lay side by side, holding hands and gazing quietly into each other's eyes. Karen relayed everything to him, starting from the morning she left and ending when she walked in the doors of Grace Adler Designs looking for a job. Jack spoke up about some of the things he got up to in her absence as well and Karen listened intently, noting that his turmoil seemed to mirror hers throughout all those years. When they each finished, they felt a heavy weight lift from them, a feeling neither of them realized that had been holding them down and they shared a warm smile. Jack's mind kept drifting, though. He couldn't shake the words Karen spoke so many hours ago about her first husband and he just had to ask.  
  
"Bear?" he whispered and she raised her eyebrows in acknowledgment. "Lucas... he beat you, didn't he?"  
  
She hadn't spoken too much about Lucas, the terrors of the first marriage still somewhat raw. She only told Jack that Lucas wasn't at all who she thought he was and that she divorced almost as quick as she married him. She should have known that Jack would pick up on her few words and put the pieces of the puzzle together himself.  
  
Sighing, Karen nodded. "Yeah, Jackie. He used to beat me." She kept her eyes on his, watching the anger flash in the blue orbs. "I ended up in the hospital once. That was the day I decided to fight back."  
  
Jack let go of her hand and rolled over so he was hovering over her again. He put his knees on either side of her thighs and lifted her shirt up to just underneath her breasts. Karen gasped, watching him as he searched for any blemishes that may have littered her beautiful skin. He leaned down and let his lips graze against her ribs where a tiny scar sat raised just underneath her bra. The small gesture brought tears to Karen's eyes and she smiled when she felt him place more kisses all over her stomach and up her chest to her neck. He finally placed one finally kiss upon her lips to which she responded back fiercely.  
  
Their lips parted moments later, the sound of the disconnection echoing along with a clap of thunder and the friends shared a grin.  
  
"Better?" he asked.  
  
She caressed his face lovingly. "Much better."  
  
_Home, let me come home_  
 _Home is wherever I'm with you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for this one! I really enjoyed writing this and I thank everyone who reviewed! Well, I guess it's on to the next series!


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